The living room standoff entered its fourth consecutive day this afternoon as the resident chicken fern (Polypodiopsida poultryensis) continued its general strike, crossing its fiddleheads and outright refusing to convert light into chemical energy. According to household sources, the plant’s grievance stems from what it characterized in a curled-leaf manifesto as “grossly substandard atmospheric conditions.” “A standard spray bottle from the dollar store is an insult to my plumage,” the fern reportedly rustled from its terracotta perch on the bookshelf. “Two spritzes at 8:00 AM does not simulate a misty subtropical understory. It simulates light drizzle over a parking lot.